Araz Gray

On Condemning Multidimensional Life

04 March 2019

The following paragraphs have been written over some time. The point I want to make is clear, and the way to say it is straightforward. But the first paragraph refuses to come. We’re stubborn. This piece has no introduction, no preamble, no lead-in. Damn it.

I crave single-focus living. I want to wake up in the morning and only deal with one thing until night. My goal is that one thing, my feelings revolve around that one thing. My life devoted to that thing, for that thing. Being multidimensional has become seriously exhausting.

Multidimensionality might look appealing from the outside, but when you can’t meet the needs of all your dimensions properly, it becomes a weight that blocks the movement of your other dimensions.

Some of my most prominent dimensions are:

• A programmer who wants to spend all his hours learning and writing code. Learning more and more. Turning his long list of ideas into action and completing unfinished projects.
• A designer who wants to sit in a soundproof studio and design with classical background music as much as possible. Pouring out creativity. Coming up with new ideas for everything at hand.
• A middle-aged man with a core Iranian cultural identity who, when returning home, is greeted by someone and overwhelmed by the smell of Ghormeh Sabzi before it even reaches the house.
• A young adult who listens to his grandfather’s gramophone recordings while walking. Reading and writing from morning to night. Turning the three-volume Fifty Shades into thirty volumes.
• A teenager who wants to wear his Metallica t-shirt and Converse shoes, dive into the concerns of that age, and not come out.
• A five-year-old who lies on the grass, watching the sky and daydreaming from the shapes of clouds. This aspect has been very lonely lately.
• A musician who, holding his violin, wishes the world and its sounds would go silent.
• A recluse who wants to go to the mountains of Ukraine, build a farm, and completely forget society and the outside world.

Related:

• I Owe Myself
• In Search of That Place (coming soon)
• Derek Sivers | Doors and Windows and What’s Real

Araz Gray — 04 March 2019

Forward: arazgray.com/in-condemning-of-multidimensional-life.ink