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Statistics and numbers from a year of consistent writing This post was originally meant to be published before Nowruz 2019, but due to certain events that happened in the last days of the year, it stayed unpublished until today. It’s also slightly improved and more complete now. Over the past ... Read all
Less than a week ago, on March 13, following a wave across Turkey targeting foreigners, I found myself unexpectedly caught up in the chaos with my jaw dropped and eyes wide open, without any warning or preparation. Exhausted and frustrated with my company situation, I packed my things without resist... Read all
Yesterday evening, I decided to make my final efforts before completely sinking into depression and try to shift my mood a bit. Of the three problems I faced, I left one to fate, forgot the second, and dealt with the third and main one by letting it go. My mood isn’t perfect, but it’s much better th... Read all
Spring rain falls, and in the corners of the hills and mountains, you can see fresh green grass and tree blossoms about to bloom. Normally, I should feel good, but here I am, sitting in a café near my home, writing these lines. In recent days, the foundations of my life have collapsed, and I lost... Read all
The days pass like lightning and wind, and I am bewildered, struggling to break free from the habit of waiting. The habit of expecting the current “thing” to end. I have spent a lifetime waiting and being promised that once this critical situation passes, I will live. But this so-called critical sit... Read all
F. Banafshe in her recent post suggested that sharing loneliness makes it smaller and more bearable. A diagram came to my mind illustrating this theory, showing that dividing loneliness not only diminishes it but actually questions it entirely. When “we” lonely people are alone only for ourselves... Read all
The following paragraphs have been written over some time. The point I want to make is clear, and the way to say it is straightforward. But the first paragraph refuses to come. We’re stubborn. This piece has no introduction, no preamble, no lead-in. Damn it. I crave single-focus living. I want to... Read all
It’s night, with a cool breeze from summer evenings. You’re sitting on my knees on the balcony. Your eyes are closed. In the silence of the night, your breaths have become rhythmic. I run my hand over your freckles. You take a deep breath. You ask, “Was it worth it?”I say, “It was.” Cool is the... Read all
What-i-learned-at-military-service The expiration date on my visa card winks at me, reminding me that less than four months remain if I don’t change my situation. Just imagining returning and going back to life before migration unsettles me. The reason I haven’t written posts like this for a w... Read all
Even numbers are divisible by two integers, and odd numbers are divisible by two in a meaningless way. If you halve an even number, you get two whole concepts. Halve an odd number, and you get two incomplete concepts. Like any other incomplete thing: it exists, but you wish it didn’t. Like the nu... Read all
Some things you realize all of a sudden. Like the arrival of autumn, the end of winter, letting go, falling in love, aging, missed opportunities, realizing you’re no longer a teenager, realizing you can’t wear Converse shoes anymore. Like finishing high school and realizing you’re no longer a high s... Read all
When I left Iran in May, I didn’t bring my hard drive. I didn’t want to give myself the slightest opportunity to dwell on the past. I wanted every new moment to connect to the present, not regret or nostalgia. It was a good idea. Eight new months were recorded in my mind, not eight months of reviewi... Read all